The Life Pantastic
by MLP
Summary: Pivotal events from another point of view. Jeff Ratner is an important part of A Life Extraordinary. I've been working on his back story: why did he dislike Veronica so much when they finally met? How can they be friends now? What's in his back ground that will enable him to make the decisions he'll be called upon to make in his capacity as Logan Echolls' aide de camp?
1. Chapter 1

I

Jeff Ratner locked the kitchen door behind himself when he got home after work. As usual, his mom had left the light over the sink on for him and he expected to find a nice dinner for himself under foil in the refrigerator. He got a dinner break at work and could buy his meals in the Hotel kitchen for half price but he preferred to wait until he got home. Even at half price, a sandwich a night at the Neptune Grand added up and his mom was a better cook, anyway.

What he didn't expect to find was his youngest sister, Lucy, crouched on the floor behind the kitchen table.

"Lucy, what are you doing up at this hour?" he asked.

"EH!" his seven year old sister started with a jump.

"Does Mom know you're creeping around down here?" He demanded as he stalked to the fridge to retrieve his dinner. "It's after midnight; get back to bed."

"I will but Satan woke me up. I think he's hungry."

"What?" Jeff turned from the fridge to look at the little girl. " _Who_ woke you up?"

"My cat." At this, she lifted a raggedy looking little creature up into the light pouring out of the fridge so her big brother could see it. "Mom said I could keep him."

"Of course she did." Jeff turned his attention back to the food. Between the three of them, his sisters had a revolving menagerie that included their two dogs, a bird, several gerbils, a rabbit and whatever strays they happened to drag into the house. Jeff was only surprised it had taken them so long to find a cat. He grabbed the foil covered plate and let the door swing shut as he peeled off the wrap and slid his dinner into the microwave.

"I was having a really bad day." Lucy explained. "On account of Sara had a birthday party and she didn't invite me. It was on Saturday and all the other girls went but I didn't even know about it 'till today when they were talking about how much fun it was and the cake and everything and that Sara's mom took them all to the beach to have the party. I never get invited to the beach. I found him under the porch when I got home from school. He was all scraggly and afraid and Danni couldn't get him to come out but when I called to him, he came right out and let me pet him. Mom said I could keep him and now I don't even care about stupid Sara and her butt faced friends."

"Sara and her friends sound like a bunch of butt faces." Jeff agreed. Lucy laughed.

"I was asleep but he came to my door and cried. He's my cat, Jeff. He knew it was my door." Lucy said, petting the little animal. "I don't know how he knew but he did. I think he was hungry so I brought him down here and fed him."

"Great." Jeff sat at the table, almost too tired to care. If it weren't for fact that he was starving, he'd have left Lucy and the cat to themselves and gone up to bed. "What did you say its name was?"

"Satan." Lucy smiled indulgently at the little thing.

"Why in the world did you name him that?"

"I didn't." Lucy told him. "He _told_ me that was his name."

"Luce," Jeff sighed, taking his dinner out of the microwave, dropping into a seat at the table and picking up his fork, "If you say creepy shit like that, you're never going to get invited to parties. The other kids will think you're a weirdo."

His little sister looked at him with huge, solemn brown eyes.

"You said 'shit'." She whispered.

"Sorry. Don't tell mom." He began to shovel his dinner into his mouth. "But seriously, why 'Satan'?"

"I don't know."

"That's a terrible name. Don't name him that."

"I _didn't."_ She insisted. "I named him 'Belinda'. But then when I was asleep he told me his name wasn't Belinda because he's a boy and that's a girl name. I asked him what his name is and _he_ said 'Satan' and he was hungry. Then I woke up and he was right outside my bedroom door, crying for me."

"Oh." Jeff swallowed a huge bite. "Yeah, that's not creepy at all."

He looked at the tiny cat. "He didn't…call you _by name_ , did he?"

"No." The curl of Lucy's lip told him that now he was being weird.

"Well that's something." Jeff muttered. "I don't think you should keep that cat."

"Why not? He loves me." She held the scruffy fur ball up to her cheek. It was purring.

"Because he named himself after the Devil." Jeff said shortly. "That's the worst guy, ever. He'd be better off if you named him 'Hitler'. Or 'Voldemort'."

"Oh." She looked down at the cat which was barely more than a kitten. "Maybe I misunderstood him."

"I devoutly hope so." Jeff said, wolfing down the rest of his dinner. "If his name is really Satan, you've got to get rid of him. I for one, won't live in the same house as a cat named Satan."

"It was just a dream." Lucy shrugged. "Maybe he's not even a boy cat."

"Let's see." Jeff reached out and lifted the animal's tail. "No, he got that part right."

"Listen to him!" Lucy chuckled at the purring little creature. "He sounds like a bubble machine."

"Yeah, he kinda does." Jeff agreed. "Maybe you should call him 'Bubbles'. That works for a boy or a girl cat."

"Yeah!" Lucy was struck by the logic of that. "Bubbles is a good name."

"Right. Get yourself to bed now." He ordered. "Leave the cat here."

Lucy gave Bubbles a kiss on the head and carefully placed him back on the floor next to the food and water dishes she'd set behind the table where she'd hoped the dogs wouldn't find it. She turned back at the kitchen door.

"I love you, Jeffie!" she sang.

"Whatever." Jeff had already turned his attention to finding something for desert. "Get to bed or I'll tell mom you were up all night."

II

"Morning, Jeff." Ron Ratner greeted his son at the breakfast table. "How was work last night?"

"Same." Jeff shrugged as he poured himself some coffee. "Fun, dull, interesting, tiring. Work."

"I want to work at the Neptune Grand when I get big." Danni said.

"Why?" Jeff was unaware that his eleven year old sister had an ambition to follow in his footsteps.

"I want to wear a sparkly gold uniform!" Danni explained.

"It's just the vest and it's not that sparkly." Jeff muttered, shoving part of a muffin in his mouth.

"You look beautiful in it!" Danni said.

Jeff grinned. He loved his little sisters. All three of them thought he was the embodiment of male perfection. He'd yet to meet another female who thought he was even passable, much less exemplary.

"Well, if your brother does a good job, he can put in a word for you when you turn sixteen." Ron said. "Hotel work is tough, though. It's not all glamorous uniforms and movie stars."

"Oh hey!" Jeff sat up. "Guess who just took up permanent residency in the Presidential suite?"

"Ricky Martin?" Danni asked, breathlessly.

"No, stupid; the president." Lucy piped up. "Didn't you hear him?"

"You don't have to be the president to live in the presidential suite." Danni snapped.

"You don't?" Lucy asked Jeff, who shook his head.

"You know Ricky Martin is gay, don't you?" he asked Danni.

"So?"

"You know what 'gay' is, don't you?"

"You know what 'statistical probability' is, don't you?" Danni shot back.

"Ummm…" Jeff looked at their dad, who just smiled into his coffee.

"Ricky's sexual orientation effects the probability that someday he'll fall for me not one millionth of a percentage point." Danni said. "Therefore, it has no effect on my feelings for him."

No one at the table had anything to say to that.

"So, who moved into the suite?" Ron asked, having no interest at all in Ricky Martin or any of his daughter's crushes du jour.

"Duncan Kane!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Really?" Ron was mildly interested. Everyone in southern California had been following the perambulations of the Lilly Kane case and all its offshoots. "But hasn't his parents' trial been moved north?"

"Yeah. I guess Duncan didn't want to miss his senior year at Neptune High." Jeff couldn't keep the note of disdain out of his voice when he mentioned his school's arch nemesis. "Apparently he's class president, captain of the soccer team, National Honor Society and all around Mr. Wonderful of the class of '06, so Jake put him up in the style to which he's been accustomed. Must be rough, eh?"

"Don't be petty, Jeff." Ron admonished. "Just because they have all the money in the world doesn't mean they don't feel the loss of their daughter or the threat to their own freedom as keenly as anyone. From what I've read, it seems they obstructed the investigation primarily because they were afraid the evidence pointed to their son. If anything could make the murder of their daughter an even worse ordeal than it is, it would be the conviction of their sole remaining child for murder! I can't imagine what hell they're going through."

"I guess." Jeff was always impressed by the depths of his father's compassion; even for people with whom he had nothing in common.

"Duncan Kane is cute." Danni offered. "Is he nice?"

"I'll let you know." Jeff said. "I haven't met him yet."

"His runs around with that Echolls boy." Ron said. From the tone of his voice, Jeff guessed his father's compassion had a limit.

"Logan Echolls?" Gabrielle, plopped down at the kitchen table. "What about him? I heard all the charges were dropped. Can't say the same about Aaron. God, who woulda guessed a guy that hot could be a killer?"

"Innocent until proven guilty." Jeff reminded his fifteen year old sister. "Although, I heard there were tapes of him…uh… _with_ Lilly Kane."

"That may prove _something_ but it doesn't prove murder." Ron said firmly. "And this is _not_ a conversation for the breakfast table."

"It's actually a _presumption_ of innocence until proven guilty." Danni piped up. "If Aaron Echolls is guilty, he's been guilty since he did it. If not…well, then…he's not."

"Yeah, burden of proof is on the state." Jeff nodded. "You've been listening!"

"So boring!" Gabi declared. "I heard one of those Mexican motorcycle guys had an uncle or something who got beat up pretty bad in one of those bum fights Logan Echolls promoted. _I_ heard he made thousands making book on those fights and selling the video rights and he only paid the fighters a hundred each. I _heard_ that's why the gang beat the sh-crap out of Logan the night his dad was caught."

"You know you shouldn't listen to gossip." Jeff teased."Mexican motorcycle guys?"

"Whatever." Gabi rolled her eyes. "So they call themselves the PCH 'cuz they think they own the pacific coast highway. All I know is they tried to kill Logan so he killed one of 'em back. That seems fair to me."

"How very old testament of you." Jeff laughed. "We've moved on to the new book, remember?"

"Yeah, like loving his enemies would've done Logan a lot of good that night." Gabi said, sarcastically.

"Did he do it?" asked Danni. "did he really knife that kid?"

"Didn't I just say I didn't want to talk about this over breakfast?" Ron asked his oldest daughter.

"You said you didn't want to talk about the video of Aaron Echolls having s-e-x with Lilly Kane." Danni reminded him. "Gabi's talking about _Logan_ Echolls getting the sandwiches beaten out of him by that motorcycle gang."

"Yeah, Dad." Gabi giggled. "Totally different topic."

"Who, exactly are you spelling 'sex' for?" Ron asked Danni, who pointed at Lucy.

"Neighborhood gossip is worth what you pay for it." Jeff said. "According to public records, there's no direct evidence proving Echolls ever touched the knife that killed Felix Toombs. Of course, the only evidence that the knife ever existed is the wound in Felix's chest...Anyway, seems doubtful to me that a guy who was beaten up by six or seven gangsters could muster up the strength to knife one of his assailants to death. That's the opinion of the DA, too."

"How do you know all that?" Danni asked.

"Do you know what 'public records' means?" Jeff teased.

"Other teen aged boys spend their time online looking for naked women but my brother spends his perusing the public records of our local sheriff's department." Gabby said, shaking her head. "You're such a dork." The tone of her voice was pure affection, taking any sting out of her words.

"I know what s-e-x spells." Lucy said.

"How about we don't talk about any of those Neptune ne'er-do-wells and their fancy problems until I've had my coffee?" Ron suggested. "This is going to cause day long indigestion!"

"Come on Dad, what's the fun of living within spitting distance of the rich and famous if you can't talk like you know them?" Gabi asked.

"You can't spit all the way to the Neptune Grand." Danni felt compelled to point out.

"Shut up." Gabi felt equally compelled to explain.

"Jeffie knows Duncan Kane." Lucy countered.

"Since when?" Gabi scoffed.

"No, I don't." Jeff corrected Lucy.

"He moved into Jeff's hotel." Ron said, picking up the newspaper to indicate his disinterest in continuing the discussion.

"Cool." Gabi looked at her brother.

"He's just another guest." Jeff said. "So I'll bring him dinner once in a while, no biggie."

"Gabi, let's go." Julia Ratner bustled in, wearing the beige pants and red shirt that served as her work uniform. "I can drop you off at the bus stop but we have to leave now or I'll be late. Can you get the others to school, Sweetie?"

"No problem." Ron looked up from the paper long enough for his busy wife to kiss him goodbye. "I'll pick up something for dinner."

"What? No; I'll already be at Target, I'll grab something for us." Julia said. "I get off at 4:00, dinner at 6:00. Easy peasy."

"Can we have tuna salad?" Lucy asked. "Bubs wants tuna."

"Get that cat away from the table, Lucy." Her Mom said as she hustled Gabi towards the back door. "I said you could keep it, I didn't say it could sit at the table."

"S-h-i-t." Lucy muttered as she dropped the kitten to the floor.

"I work at 5:00!" Jeff called after his mom. "Save me some dinner, okay? Last night's was great! Thanks!"

"You're welcome, honey!" Julia's voice called from outside. In another moment, they heard her car peel out of the garage. Julia was always in a hurry.

"She does way too much." Ron said of his wife.

"She likes it." Jeff said. "Can you imagine Mom without sixty things to do at once? The world shudders at the thought."

"Girls, grab your stuff, it's almost time to go." Ron told Danni and Lucy.

"What did you say?" Danni asked Lucy as they brought their breakfast dishes up to the counter, rinsed them and placed them in the dishwasher.

"I know how to spell f-u-c-k, too." Lucy said.

"You'd better not!" Danni warned, aghast.

"Try to stay away from that Kane kid." Ron said to his son. "That crowd seems to draw nothing but trouble."

"You worried that their debauchery will wear off on me if I start serving them cheeseburgers?" Jeff laughed.

"No." Ron smiled. "I have more faith in your character than that. But…well, I'd hate for you to start thinking that life style is normal."

"Don't worry about me, Dad." Jeff assured him. "I can tell a hawk from a handsaw."

Chapter 2

"Hey, guys!" Ritchie Williams, star athlete of Pan High's various teams stopped by the table at which Jeff and his friends were sitting. "You coming to the game tonight? Gotta start the season on the right foot, don't we? We'll need all the help we can get!"

That was true. Pan High's football team was perennially awful. Last year's record was 2-8 and the season had been half over before they'd scored their first touchdown. Yet the games were always well attended and the social highlight of the school's week.

"I'll be there!" Wilson piped up.

"I know you will be buddy." Ritchie ruffled Wilson's hair as though the other boy were six. Wilson grinned at the attention. "You're our number one fan, aren't you?"

"I don't know." Wilson actually blushed.

"Hope the rest of you guys show up, too." Ritchie said. "Maybe the threat of humiliating ourselves in front of the whole student body will force us to play out of our minds."

Before Jeff or either of the other two nerds at the table could point out that the threat had never worked before, Ritchie had moved on to the next table, whipping up support for the team.

"Gosh, he's a nice guy." Wilson said. "So you guys coming?"

"Yeah." Nodded Alfredo. "Nothing else to do around here on a Friday night."

"I hate football." Denis sighed. "But I do love cheerleaders."

The conversation stalled as two of the school's cheerleaders walked by in their blue and white uniforms. The four boys watched them until they sat at a table on the other side of the room.

"Why do you hate football?" Wilson asked. "It's fun."

"It is fun." Jeff said. "A bunch of jocks go caveman on each other and try to cause brain damage. I love it."

"So you're going?" Denis asked.

"No." Jeff answered. "I gotta work."

"'I gotta work, I gotta work'" Alfredo mimicked. "All you ever do is work!"

"Keeps me out of trouble." Jeff said. "And if I'm going to move out of my parent's house next year, that's going to take some scratch."

"Why not just live in the dorms like everyone else?" Jon asked.

"Dorm life is the biggest scam in America." Jeff said. "Even if I get a full academic scholarship to Hearst, they charge $1000.00 a month to live in a shitty little room with no kitchen, no bathroom and a room mate. Who they choose! A slumlord who tried to pull that kind of a deal would be in prison but our universities do it and everyone just plays along. It's ridiculous."

"If you get a full ride, room and board is included." Alfredo pointed out.

"I'd still have to share a dinky space with someone." Jeff said. "I'm afraid I'd get some slimey Romeo who brings home a different girl every weekend. Yeah, trying to sleep while Tarzan and Jane make like chimps three feet away sounds awesome."

"Maybe he'd let you have the left overs." Denis grinned.

"Ew. No." Jeff shuddered.

"You are so 1950s." Alfredo shook his head.

"Right. Because it's so mid-century to think that women should be considered more than hookups and 'leftovers'." Jeff said. "Remind me never to let any of you guys near my sisters. Ever."

"Jeez, man, do you ever chill?" Denis asked. "I mean, you're never gonna get laid so you better figure out some way to relax."

"Hard to do, living here at the gates of Hell." Jeff muttered.

"You could just live at home." Wilson said. "You live what, six miles from campus? It's not like you don't have a car."

"That car is another perk I earned by working all the time." Jeff said. "and if you lived in a house full of girls, you'd know why I don't want to stay home."

"You should just bring a night bag to work." Denis laughed. "I'll bet there's at least one unbooked room a night that you could crash in. You'd save a ton of money being the Grand's own itinerate homeless bellhop!"

"My God; you're a genius!" Jeff shook his head as his friends laughed.

Denis and Al grabbed their books and took off, leaving Jeff and Wilson at the table.

"So you're really not coming to the game?" Wilson asked. "I know you gotta work a lot and I get why but it just seems like you're missing all the best parts of high school."

"There are 'best parts' of this?" Jeff joked.

"The games are fun." Wilson said. "And the guys are great! You'd know that if you ever pulled your face out of a book or took a night off from work."

"You're only on the bandwagon since you became a hero by stealing that stupid bird of theirs last year." Jeff said. "Which was pretty awesome by the way."

"Come on." Wilson objected, embarrassed. "Don't start."

"Hey, I know what went down." Jeff leaned in, conspiratorially. "Capitalizing on the internal strife of our foes was brilliant! You know I'll take your secret to the grave."

Jeff had figured out immediately that Wilson had had nothing to do with the disappearance of Neptune High's mascot, Polly. He and Wilson had spent the day before the birdnapping together: Wilson hadn't had time to do the deed. He had, however, been inspired to take the credit nearly immediately and Jeff bowed to him for doing so.

Flashback:

 _Jeff was pulling his homework out of his locker and couldn't help but notice the steady stream of students stopping to heap praise and thanks upon Wilson, whose locker was two down from his. The whole school was agog with admiration for the daring deed of pilfering Polly the Parrot from the school's arch rival: Neptune high. Wilson was pink with…something._

 _Jeff waited until the latest group of admirers were out of ear shot, then confronted his best friend._

" _What the heck, Wils? Why does everyone think you did it?" he asked._

" _What makes you think I didn't?" Wilson stammered._

" _Uh; I've known you for five years." Jeff stared into Wilson's flushed face. "And when, exactly, were you supposed to have performed this excellent feat of breaking, entering and theft?"_

" _Uh, well, um…"_

" _And there's exactly no chance at all that your Mom would let you have a bird in your room," Jeff continued, "since your allergies would kick in and gosh, Wils, I don't see a rash or any hives or anything to indicate that you've spent more thirty seconds in close proximity to any animals at all in the last 24 hours…"_

" _FINE." Wilson cut him off. "I faked it. I heard Neptune's bird was gone and they're blaming us and no one else said they took it, so…"_

" _You lied."_

" _Come on, Ratner, for once in your life, pull the stick out of your butt. Yeah, I lied, so what? For the first time in my life, people think I'm cool! What's the harm?"_

" _I don't have a stick up my butt!" Jeff protested. "In fact, I…kinda wish I'd thought of it."_

" _You do?"_

" _No." Jeff shook his head, on further thought. "I don't want everyone looking at me. I prefer flying under the radar. I don't care about their attention and I sure don't want attention for something I didn't do."_

" _There's that stick again." Wilson muttered._

" _Why is it so important to you that a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders know your name?" Jeff asked._

" _It's more than that!" Wilson insisted. "You know that new girl, Betty?"_

" _No."_

" _Omigod, she's this smoking hot blond! And she's new so she doesn't know I'm a dweeb."_

" _You're not a dweeb." Jeff was sick to death of his friends accepting the labels the popular kids gave them._

" _She thinks I'm kickass." Wilson suddenly blushed. "She wants to go to rest stop 15 with me."_

" _Rest stop 15?" Jeff knew what that meant: Wilson was either going to get mugged or laid._

" _Its finally gonna happen." Wilson breathed. "she wants me!"_

 _The next day, Wilson had regaled his friends with a lurid and detailed account of his first (and second) time in the back seat of his Datsun. Betty had been enthusiastically appreciative of his school spirit. And, according to Wilson, his stamina._

 _End flashback_

"Anyway, no one even remembers the Great Bird Caper." Jeff assured his friend. "As far as the jocks go, you're okay. It doesn't even matter how you got there."

"Yeah." Wilson looked unsure about that. "And it's called the 'Pan-wagon', not the bandwagon."

"Oh whatever." Jeff laughed. "I still don't believe there was ever a 'Betty'."

"She's real!" Wilson insisted. "I don't know what happened to her. That was pretty weird."

"Pretty weird? A fantasy girl shows up at school just long enough to make a man out of you, then disappears forever? I'd say that's pretty convenient."

"She's real." Wilson insisted. "Ask Ritchie."

II

That evening, Jeff rolled his cart into the kitchen, having delivered the first meals of the evening and stopped dead in his tracks. The normal state of being in any industrial kitchen at dinner time was nerve wracking. Jeff had long ago grown used to bustling hive of frantic activity so when he pushed through the swinging doors to find silence, he knew something was wrong.

All the staff were gathered in the center of the room, staring up at the television that was usually only on during the downtimes between the breakfast and lunch rush, their faces pale, some of the women crying.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Who died?"

No one noticed him. Imagining planes flying into skyscrapers, he strode forward until he could see the news.

A school bus full of Neptune High students returning from Shark Field had gone over the cliff into the ocean. All aboard had died.

"Oh shit." Jeff sighed.

"Master Kane was on that field trip." Esme, the sou chef said, his voice breaking. "He let the kitchen know he wouldn't be home for dinner."

"That poor family." Someone sobbed.

"Oh my God." Jeff blood ran cold. His heart went out to Jake and Celeste Kane. To lose their son while awaiting justice for the murder of their daughter was too much to bear. "Oh my God."

"Wait!" Marisol, a member of the housekeeping staff cried, pointing at the screen. "Is that him? Is it? Maybe he wasn't on board!"

A news helicopter was providing footage of the scene: several teens stood on the cliff near a town car. Duncan Kane had looked up at the chopper and the camera zoomed in on his face.

The kitchen went unnaturally silent again as they watched the horror on the cliff unfold. The news was terrible; the worse tragedy to strike Neptune in years. But at least the one person they knew had escaped a watery grave. At least the Kane family still had an heir.

Chapter 3

"Ratner!" Bob called out. "I need some help."

"Okie Dokie!" Jeff spun on his heel and headed toward his overburdened coworker.

It was Saturday night at the Neptune Grand, which was aways a busy, hectic night. The only five star hotel in town hosted parties, receptions and conferences nearly every weekend of the year. This particular Saturday night, there were private parties in the back rooms of both restaurants, a retirement party in one of the conference halls and the main ballroom was the site of the annual Southern California Realtor's banquet. Add to that crowd the regular Saturday night bar and restaurant crowds and Jeff hadn't stopped moving since his shift started.

He didn't mind. He'd much rather be busy at work than bored.

"Would you mind bringing a tray upstairs?" Bob asked. "I know you're supposed to be working the ballroom but I gotta get this tray back into the Richmond party and the lady in 1147 sounds really hungry."

"No sweat." Jeff took the handle of the cart. "Riding the elevator upstairs will be the break I haven't taken all night."

"Thanks. I owe you one."

Jeff hadn't been exaggerating. He pushed the cart into the service elevator and sighed as the doors closed. He leaned back against the wall and looked at the order slip. Crème brule.

 _Great. Another extramarital affair. I guess there's just something about crème brule that goes really wel with illicit sex._

Up on the top floor of the hotel, the noise and music of the first two floors wasn't even a muffled rumor. Here, all was quiet. Any hotel guests who chose to enjoy the luxury of their well-appointed suites would never be distracted by the revelries below.

He pushed the bell at 1147.

"Who is it?" a low, musical voice asked playfully.

"Room service." He announced.

The deep carpeting prevented him from hearing any footfalls approach the door and he jumped when it silently swung open.

Compounding his surprise was the vision that stood in the open door. A woman who looked like she'd just stepped out of a 1980s teen fantasy was standing there in a dress showing such a vast expanse of cleavage he felt a brief touch of vertigo.

"Well?" she demanded, no longer sounding playful. "Bring it in!"

She stepped aside and waved impatiently toward the room. Jeff put his head down and pushed the cart into her room.

"Where would you like it, Miss?" he asked.

"I don't care." She snapped. "Just get out of here; you need to be gone before my guest arrives."

"Yes, Miss." He turned to go and was surprised again by the twenty she shoved at him. "Oh, I don't have any change, Miss and you can just charge…"

"Did I ask for change?" she demanded. "Get out!"

"Yes Miss. Thank you, Miss."

She practically shoved him out of the room. He sighed as the door closed behind him. He'd taken two steps when the door opened again.

"Hey!" she called. He turned around. "Get this out of here!" she shoved the cart, sans the desert tray, out the door and slammed it shut. He grabbed the cart and pushed it down the hall. The guest elevator opened and a young man got off. Since Duncan Kane had moved in, they'd had more kids on the top floors than usual. They passed each other as Jeff continued toward the service elevator and the kid sauntered down the hall toward Duncan's door.

Jeff swore under his breath when he saw that the service elevator was all the way in the basement. He looked over his shoulder. The guest elevator doors were still open. The help wasn't supposed to use the guest elevators but on a busy night like this, management didn't mind.

He grabbed the cart, spun it around and pulled it into the elevator. As he pushed the button, he looked back up the hall and saw to his surprise that the young man who had just exited the elevator had passed by Duncan's door and was knocking on 1147. Jeff watched as Kendall Casablancas greeted Logan Echolls with a deep, passionate kiss. Before the elevator doors closed, Jeff saw her hand grab the boy's ass and pull him into the room.

Jeff tried not to be curious about the hotel's guests. He thought that was unprofessional. He blinked several times as the elevator descended but he couldn't unsee what he'd just seen.

"Wow." He finally said, as the doors opened onto the lobby.

An impatient young blond in jeans and a neck tie for a belt, clearly not associated with any of the parties being held in the hotel, swept past him as he pushed the cart out of the car.

"Oh, excuse me!" he said, yanking the cart out of her way. She said nothing but pushed the button for the floor she wanted without acknowledging Jeff in any way at all. He sighed again, reminding himself that good help should be invisible.

But he was unable to stop himself from wondering why some people were so rude.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2 Discovery and Disillusion

Chapter 2 Discovery and Disillusion

It was after midnight when Jeff let himself into the dark kitchen at home. As usual, a lone light over the sink illuminated the room for him while the rest of the house was dark and quiet. He locked the door and threw the deadbolt before heading toward the refrigerator to see what his Mom had saved for him to eat.

He didn't see the cat in the semi darkness and nearly stepped on it.

"Oh, sorry Bubs." He muttered, bending down to pet the little furball. It arched it's back and hissed at him. "What? I didn't step on you."

Un-mollified, the cat hissed again and took a swipe at the hand Jeff barely managed to pull out of harm's way.

"Cut it out." Jeff scolded him. "I get enough of that at work, I don't need it when I get home after a long shift."

The cat ran off into the darkness of the house. Jeff opened the fridge and grinned, seeing the foil covered plate his Mom had stashed away. He grabbed some silverware and his current obsession, the book, Big Murder, Small Town, to re-read some favorite chapters.

* * *

Lucy was eating breakfast when he came down the next morning. The cat was squirming on her lap, trying to get up onto the table.

"You training Bubs to be a watch cat?" Jeff asked her. "He wasn't too crazy about me coming home so late last night."

"Did he?" Lucy frowned. "I thought he was with me all night."

"He was in the kitchen when I came in." Jeff grabbed the box of cereal and poured some in his bowl. "Practically attacked me."

"Well, he doesn't really know you yet," Lucy said, rubbing the kitten's head. "He isn't gonna let just anyone come in the house in the middle of the night."

"No, I guess not." Jeff added milk to his bowl, then reached out to pet the cat before grabbing a spoon out of the caddy on the table. The cat hissed and bared his claws. Jeff yanked his hand back.

"Bubs!" Lucy admonished her pet. "Don't be mean to Jeff. We _love_ Jeff."

"I don't think we do." Jeff said, pulling out a spoon.

The tiny cat glared balefully at Jeff while purring loudly on Lucy's lap.

"I'm glad you renamed him." Jeff said. "He does sound like a bubble machine. A mean, vicious little bubble machine."

"He's not mean." Lucy pouted. "I think he's just afraid of you."

"He's mean. Maybe instead of 'Bubbles' you should have named him 'Wood Chipper'. You could call him 'Chip', or 'Chipper'."

"I didn't name him Bubbles." Lucy frowned.

Just then, Danni and and Gabi came into the kitchen, loudly arguing over whether or not Gabi had given Danni a sweater or merely leant it to her. Chaos reigned for the next ten minutes as Mom came in and sorted the girls out while Jeff wolfed down his breakfast and Lucy stuffed her homework into her backpack. When no one was watching, Bubs hopped up on the table and began to lap up the milk left in Lucy's bowl.

"LUCY!" Mrs. Ratner yelled. "Get that cat off the table!"

* * *

Ron Ratner was enjoying an hour of blissful quiet that afternoon when his son got home from school.

"Hey Dad." Jeff dropped his pack on the counter and pulled out a hardcover book. "You have got to read this!"

"Big Murder, Small Town, eh?" Ron picked up the book and read the jacket. "Oh! Sheriff Mars gives us the inside scoop. I'll bet that's interesting!"

"It is!" Jeff nodded. "Right off the bat, he explains why he suspected the Kane's. The murder scene just didn't stack up. Did you know his daughter was Lilly's best friend? She was there the night it happened, I mean, with the sheriff when he took the call, not at the house when Lilly was killed. The details are absolutely fascinating!"

"She was there? Oh, that poor kid."

"Yeah. But can you imagine? The fact that she knew Lilly so well is how they broke the case and I say 'they' because Sheriff Mars makes it perfectly plain that without her input, he never would have pieced it all together! Think of it, Dad: she's my age yet she spent the last two years putting herself at risk to discover what really happened to her friend!"

"It's Neptune, Jeff. How much real risk was she in?"

"OH MY GOD, Dad!"

"We don't take the Lord's name in vain in this house." Ron said gently.

"Sorry Dad but you have _no idea_!" Jeff spent the next few minutes filling his Dad in on what Sheriff Mars' daughter had done to expose her friend's killer. "He doesn't come right out and say it but it's clear enough between the lines: She gave up all her friends so that relationships wouldn't cloud her reasoning: everyone was a suspect!"

"That is impressive." Ron nodded. "Its nice to hear of a teenaged girl who doesn't put her social standing above what's right and wrong."

"Yeah. The kids at Neptune high suck." Jeff said. "But that's not the coolest thing she did. No one else would have known where to look for the tapes of Lilly and Aaron Echolls, hidden in her room! She sneaked into Kane's house during a party to get them. How awesome is that?"

"Why didn't she tell the authorities?" Ron asked. "That seems more foolish than awesome."

"The authorities?" Jeff asked dryly. "You mean Sheriff Lamb? Read the book Dad; it all makes sense."

"I will."

"Aaron Echolls was at that same party; _That's_ how he found and followed her. He tried to kill her, too, Dad!"

"Is there proof of that?" Ron flipped through the book to the photo plates in the middle.

"He locked her in a freezer and set the place on fire. _On fire!_ " Jeff pointed to the photos of the scorched chest freezer. " Echolls told Mars she was in there when he lit it all up. Mars suffered first degree burns, according to his medical records. That's a lot of physical evidence!"

"So it would seem." Ron nodded as he perused the photos of the burnt backyard. "She's lucky her Dad arrived when he did. Luckier than anyone has a right to expect."

"Luck favors the bold, Dad." Jeff said.

* * *

In the next week or two, Jeff got used to the hotel being infested with 09ers. Jeff didn't know their names but he quickly recognized the regulars. The impatient blond who had nearly knocked him down the night Logan Echolls had been enjoying crème brule, was frequently with Duncan when Jeff brought up the dinner tray. He caught a glimpse of her in the bedroom late one night when he brought up desserts.

She never tipped him when she accepted the food cart. Jeff didn't mind; the gratuity was included in the bill, but most guests didn't know that and offered him cash, anyway. She never even looked at him.

He wasn't at all surprised that there was a girl willing to spend the night with the young heir to billions. He was sure there were many just waiting for a chance to do so. He couldn't help but wonder what their parents thought they were doing when they were out all night.

His middle class morality was appalled when it occurred to him that plenty of 09er parents probably wouldn't even mind if they knew their daughter was spending the night with a billionaire's son. He was relieved that his own family lived far enough inland for his sisters to be completely unaware of the coastal shenanigans of the 09ers and their depravities.

Danni would never work at the Grand if he had any say in the matter.

Jeff hadn't been consciously eaves dropping the night he learned the identity of the eager blond. He had spent the last few weeks pouring over every detail of Big Murder, Small Town and the name _Veronica Mars_ simply caught his ear.

He glanced toward a group of girls his own age who were waiting for the elevator.

"…I mean; everyone knows _her_ angle _."_ Said the first girl. "But what he sees in her is beyond me."

"I know." Said the second girl. "He could do _so much_ better."

"He could hardly do worse!" said another. "She's the biggest skank in Neptune."

"She's a slut but I don't know about skank _."_ the second girl was skeptical.

"You know, she did _at least_ four guys at one party." One girl snickered as the elevator doors opened. "Carrie said they didn't even bother to close the door. _And_ she has no standards. After we dropped her, she joined the PCH. You know how girls get initiated into gangs, don't you?"

"Ugh." The second grimaced as they stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed.

 _That's not true._ Jeff stared at the elevator doors, outraged.

Reading Sheriff Mars' account of the events of last May and the resolution of Lilly Kane's murder, Jeff had developed an enormous respect not only for the sheriff but for his intrepid and heroic daughter. The idea that there was a girl his own age, right here in town who had dared to keep digging when everyone else believed the official line, had amazed Jeff and filled him with admiration. No way was the girl he'd read about capable of the things those two… _floozies_ had described.

 _They hate her. Sheriff Mars followed the evidence so they took his job and trashed his reputation. Veronica believed in her Dad so they ostracized her. They hate her and they lie about her and smear her reputation. They're not about to forgive her for being right. There's no way she's like that. It's malicious gossip. She isn't like that._

Even as he told himself that, the doors of the lobby opened and Duncan's little blond girlfriend entered. She was with two friends, one of whom Jeff recognized as Wallace Fennel, Neptune's star point guard. On his arm was a beautiful girl. The three of them were laughing and talking. They were half way across the lobby when the dark beauty answered a call on her cell phone.

"Wallace, Veronica, go on ahead, I'll catch up." She said as she walked straight toward Jeff.

The name 'Veronica' hit Jeff like a punch in the gut. He ducked into the archway to the dining room.

"C'mon, V." Wallace said. "Jackie'll catch the next one."

Jackie came to a stop just a few feet from where Jeff hovered, trying to make sense of the confusion of new information. She laughed into her cell phone.

"I told you, you'd never believe me." She chuckled. "I'm at the Neptune Grand. Yes, I am! I'm on my way up to Duncan Kane's suite with Wallace and Veronica Mars. What? Pride and Prejudice. We're gonna _watch!_ How kinky is that?" Then she burst out laughing, ended the call and strode toward the elevator.

Jeff peeked around the corner and stared after her.

 _Duncan's girlfriend is Veronica Mars. The rude blond who nearly ran me over to get to her tryst is the Sheriff's daughter. That's the girl whose bravery and determination I was so impressed with?_

Jeff reeled. Evidence trumps emotion.

"Blech." He said.

Just like that, the admiration he'd developed for Veronica Mars while reading her Dad's book, died.

* * *

"Woah." Jeff picked up the front page of the newspaper off the breakfast table. Casablancas Enterprises had been raided by the FCC. The CEO, H. Richard Casablancas had fled the country. Jeff made a mental note to look up whatever he could on the case in the public records online.

"Hey, Jeff, this is good news." Ron said, reading the local section. "Keith Mars is going to get his old job back."

"Huh?" Jeff tore his attention away from the front page.

"He's going to oppose Lamb for Sheriff." Ron indicated the small story announcing that Mars had filed as a candidate for the office. "They never should have thrown him out. Man was just doing his job and as your book explains, was right all along. He's got my vote."

"Yeah, mine too." Jeff muttered. His admiration for the former Sheriff was as strong as ever. So the man had no apparent control over his daughter, how many single Dad's did? Keith Mars would have to have far more problems than a promiscuous child to make a worse sheriff than Don Lamb. "Do you know anything about Casablancas Enterprises, Dad?"

"No. Local firm, right?"

"Yeah. Looks like they were running a scam." Jeff said. "I guess there was a lot of excitement yesterday. The FCC came to town and the CEO high tailed it."

"Pity." Ron shook his head as he opened the sports page. "Just goes to show you, greed and corruption never pay off in the long run. That man probably would've done just fine if he'd played by the rules."

"You think?" Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"I think there's no amount of money that would be worth looking over my shoulder all the time, constantly worried about the law landing on me. For what? A bigger house? A newer car? It's all just stuff, Jeff. I'll take a peaceful night's sleep over stuff, every day."

"I know you would, Dad. Me too. But lots of people think we're nuts." Jeff sighed. "Maybe most people."

"What do we care what other people think?" Ron grinned and took a sip of his coffee.

"We don't." Jeff laughed.

* * *

That evening at work, Jeff was hanging around the front desk, making himself available to carry bags or run any errand a guest might need. He and Lisa, the desk clerk, were talking about Big Dick's escape via helicopter.

"It flew right over the hotel!" Lisa said. "I was in the parking lot and it just buzzed me! I had no idea what was going on until I saw it on the news."

"Wish I'd been here." Jeff said. "It would've been cool to have a federal fugitive fly overhead."

"Yeah," Lisa laughed. "You would like that, wouldn't you? Read anything interesting in the police blotter lately?" She and Jeff had worked together long enough for her to have discovered his hobby.

"Uh oh." Jeff muttered. Veronica had just pushed through the front doors. She swept across the lobby like her tail was on fire. She looked upset.

"Do you know her?" Lisa asked, seeing Jeff's expression.

"Me? No." Jeff shrugged. "She's here a lot."

"Yeah she is." Lisa said, her voice dropping, conspiratorially. "About a year ago, she was in here with her Dad, hoping to get a look at our security footage."

"Her _Dad_?"

"He was _beside_ himself." Lisa said, clearly relishing the memory.

"Why?" Jeff didn't like gossip but he was always interested in what sounded like an investigation. A year ago, the Mars's would have still been investigating Lilly's murder.

"Well…" the leer on Lisa's face should have warned him. "Seems she had booked a room a month or so earlier for a hookup and she couldn't remember the guy's name, or what he looked like and she _really_ needed to find out."

"Why?" Jeff racked his brain trying to figure out how that story could have played into the murder investigation.

" _You_ know." Lisa said.

"I have no idea." Jeff admitted.

" _He knocked her up!"_ Lisa whispered. "He put a bun in her oven."

"No!" Jeff winced.

"Yes!" Lisa chortled. "Like I said, her Dad was _crazy_ mad."

"Can you blame him?" Jeff blurted.

"We couldn't help with the footage but I guess it was a false alarm." Lisa shrugged. " She's in here all the time and never looked the least bit preggers."

"I did not want to know any of that." Jeff grumbled.

* * *

The next day was one of Jeff's rare days off. He and Wilson took advantage of that fact and drove to the beach. They had a good time, ran around in the sand, played some Frisbee and ate at one of the hot dog stands. It was great, just letting go and having some fun. They decided to take the long way home and drive around looking at the homes of the rich and famous beach dwellers.

"I'm pretty sure that's Nicholas Cage's house!" Wilson pointed to a gorgeous contemporary mansion perched above the water. "National Treasure was like, the best movie since Raiders!"

"He was great in Raising Arizona." Jeff nodded, slowing down to gawk as they passed the house.

"Oh my god." Wilson pointed out the window. "Betty! That's Betty!"

"What? Where?" Jeff looked around as though he thought Wilson's mystery girl was hanging from a tree.

"There." Wilson pointed behind him at a car they'd just passed. "With that guy."

"Are you sure?" Jeff slowed to a stop. He looked in his rear view mirror and saw a man on his knees with a crow bar by the flat front tire. He turned and looked out the back window to see a blond in pig tails and a very short plaid skirt choose that moment to look in the side mirror by bending over in a very suggestive way.

"Yikes." Jeff said, getting a great view of her panties.

"Yes! I looked her right in the face as we drove by!" Wilson insisted. "It's her, Betty! That's Betty!"

"You wanna say 'hi'?" Jeff asked.

"No, no. She looks busy." Wilson shook his head.

"That's Betty? Your fantasy date just happened to turn up in front of Nick Cage's beach house?" Jeff teased. "That's convene— _oh shit!"_

The pair in the street had turned and walked toward the house and Jeff got a clear view of her face.

'Betty' was Veronica Mars.

He and Wilson watched in silence as she bounced into Nick Cage's house, batting her eyes and suggestively stroking the arm of the older guy. They watched until the door of the house closed.

"That was Betty?" Jeff asked. Wilson nodded.

"The Betty you nailed at rest stop 15?" Jeff asked.

Wilson blushed fiercely. "I told you she was real. Now do you believe me?"

Jeff put the car back in drive and stepped on the accelerator. "Yeah." He said to his friend. "I believe you."

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3 Night of Bad Surprises

TLP chapter 3

Jeff hurried into his house. It was his habit to study at Wilson's house whenever they had tests coming up, as it was far quieter there than at the Ratner abode. He had just enough time to grab a quick bite before he had to get over to the Neptune Grand for his shift.

Gabi and Danni were parked in front of the television set in the living room.

"Mamma-Max?" Danni asked.

"It's supposed to make your boobs bigger." Gabi said. "There's ads for it in the back of the penny saver."

"Sounds like a scam." Danni frowned.

"Ya think?" Gabi snorted. "Did that girl look like it worked?"

Jeff ignored them as he hurried through to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and began pulling out Tupperware. Dumping a pile of leftovers onto a plate, he shoved it into the microwave and hit a few buttons.

"Jeff! Jeffie!" Lucy burst into the kitchen, "Ralphie's dead!"

"Aw, that's too bad, Luce." Jeff carefully extracted the hot plate from the microwave. "but you know rabbits don't last all that long around here."

"But this time it wasn't coyotes, it wasn't!" Lucy said. "I kept his cage on the porch, like you said! Coyotes can't get onto the porch. Can they?"

"No, you're right about that." Jeff said, shoveling his dinner into his mouth. "At least, I've never known a coyote who could open a door. They're not velociraptors."

" _What_?" his little sister looked at him, clearly worried about some new predator stalking her precious pets.

"A joke." He explained. "Jurassic Park. It's a joke."

"Jeff." She said, solemnly. "Ralphie is _dead_."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry your rabbit is dead." He continued to wolf down his dinner. "But you know; that's kinda what rabbits do. They eat, poop, make baby rabbits and die."

"Delia is coming over for the funeral." Delia was Lucy's best friend who lived across the street. "Danni and Gabi said they'd come if I waited till Madam Soapie is over."

"Madam What?" Jeff gulped his milk.

"That stupid show they like." Lucy waved toward the TV room. "Today she's selling booby cream. Will you come? To the funeral?"

"I gotta go to work. Can you postpone the funeral till…um…" Jeff ran through his schedule in his head, "…Saturday morning?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." Lucy said seriously. "It's best to get him in the ground fast." Ralphie was far from first pet whose funeral Lucy had officiated. Since he couldn't attend the funeral, Jeff felt he should at least show some interest in the proceedings.

"Aside from the porch, how can you be sure it wasn't a coyote?" he asked.

"He was still in his cage." She muttered.

"Really? How old was he?" Jeff asked. She shrugged. "Maybe he had a heart attack. Maybe he was really old and it was just time for him to go to bunny Heaven."

"Do bunnies go to heaven?" She looked at him, hopefully.

"Would you be satisfied if you got to Heaven and there weren't any bunnies?" Jeff asked. She shook her head, vehemently. "Well, there you go; Heaven's perfect so there must be bunnies, right?"

"Right." She smiled, relieved. "I'm happy that Ralphie's in Bunny Heaven but I don't think he had a heart attack."

"Oh, okay, Dr. Lucy." Jeff laughed. "why not?"

"His head fell off."

* * *

Over the course of the weekend, Jeff was far too busy at work to give a thought to his sister's deceased pet. Neptune High was celebrating Home Coming and the hotel was crawling with well dressed, drunk and horny teens. By Sunday night, Jeff was exhausted from running room service carts, chasing kids out of places they didn't belong and escorting police to rooms where too many teens were making so much noise to have elicited complaints from the occupants of the neighboring rooms. His contempt for all things Neptune High related was higher than ever.

Not high enough to prevent him from checking his ballot for Keith Mars for sheriff on the following Tuesday.

Tuesday evening at the Grand wasn't nearly as bad as Homecoming had been but there was a big election party in the Presidential Suite that included lots of the kids he'd chased out of the hotel the weekend before. Jeff had expected some awkwardness when he brought the first catering tray into the party but not a single one of the 09ers recognized him from three nights before. At first Jeff was relieved but that turned to irritation before he left the suite.

"I thought they just didn't remember me," he grumped to Fernando, down in the kitchen, "but it's not that; they didn't see me at all. They just looked right through me. Like I was a piece of furniture or something."

"That's how they are." Fernando said, bitterly. "Those punk ass 09ers don't see anyone but each other. We're worse than invisible to them; we're dispensable."

"Uh, yeah." Jeff said. Fernando was a junior at Neptune High and had only started working at the hotel that summer.

"You guys at Pan have no idea." Fernando went on, "At Neptune we have to put up with it everywhere, every day. Their parents own this town and they know it. They walk all over us, push us around, treat us like dirt and expect us to thank 'em for letting us live on the same planet as them."

"It's bad enough having to deal with those spoiled brats here at work," Jeff said, "It must be a real drag to have to go to school with them."

"Just in case we ever get the idea that we count as human beings, we get reminded that they can actually kill us and no one gives a _damn_." Fernando shook his head.

"That must be hard." Jeff said. It dawned on him that the younger boy was talking about the murder of Felix Toombs.

"It's hard not taking justice into our own hands and dealing with that punk on our own." Fernando said. "But you can imagine what they'd do to us if we dared to retaliate against one of them."

"Well, yeah, you can't do that." Jeff agreed. "Leave it to the authorities."

"I hate 'em, though." Fernando admitted. "I really do."

"Don't bother." Jeff said. "They're not worth it. Someday, all the crap they do will catch up with them."

Fernando laughed. "You don't really believe that!"

"Yes, I do." Jeff said firmly, pointing at the cross hanging around Fernando's neck, "and so do you."

"Aw, man." Fernando shook his head. "Eternity is too long to wait."

"Eternity is a big price to pay for it." Jeff said. "Whoever killed your friend will either go to jail or to Hell, even if he's an 09er."

"What are you, my priest?" Fernando scowled. "I thought you were a Jew."

"My people have a very long view of justice." Jeff nodded.

"Screw justice." Fernando's lip curled. "We want _revenge_."

* * *

By ten O'clock, Jeff was thirsty for a little revenge of his own; Woody Goodman walked away with the office of Mayor, as expected but Don Lamb _clobbered_ Keith Mars for Sheriff. Justice was dead in Neptune.

Jeff found Fernando back in the kitchen.

"I'm taking another snack trolley up to the Presidential Suite," Jeff told him. "If some of that expired dip got mixed into the fresh stuff, some poor little rich kids might end the night making offerings to the porcelain throne not entirely caused by alcoholic overindulgence…"

"Que?" Fernando glared at him.

"We can give them food poisoning and they'll assume its part of their hangovers." Jeff explained. "But you better be quick or we'll get caught."

"Oh…OH!" Fernando grinned and grabbed the tub of expired dip sitting beside the garbage bin.

Jeff brought the snack trolley back upstairs feeling like he'd struck a blow for justice, race relations and socio-economic equality in Neptune. He felt no guilt at all by the prospect of some of those rotten little shits puking their guts out before dawn.

His self-satisfaction was quickly eclipsed by surprise.

He'd barely pushed the snack trolley off the service elevator when a crowd erupted from the Presidential Suite. Deputy Sacks was pushing Logan Echolls, in cuffs, toward the elevator.

"I assume the press is waiting downstairs." Logan said. "Make sure they photograph me from my left; that's my good side."

"Do you _ever_ exercise your right to remain silent?" Sacks asked.

Jeff watched as Sacks shoved the boy onto the elevator a second deputy had been holding. The two deputies grabbed Echolls by the arms, turning him to face the doors. Just before the doors closed, Echolls looked down the hall and met Jeff's eyes. They stared at each other for the seconds it took for the doors to close.

Jeff blinked. The look on Logan Echolls' face had not been one of smug self-satisfaction or the look of someone who knew they could get away with murder. He just looked scared.

Sometimes Jeff had to be reminded that 09ers were people, too.

Disturbed, Jeff pushed the snack trolley down the hall to the Presidential Suite. Inside, the kids weren't behaving like a crowd from which one member had just been dragged off by the law but then, Jeff had to admit he didn't know exactly how such a crowd should behave.

Completely ignored by the guests, he began to unload the cart onto the bar counter.

"This is not how tonight was supposed to go." A very pretty black haired girl pouted to her group of friends. "Tonight was supposed to be about the election! The _future_."

"Do you think Logan will be back in school tomorrow?" the other girl asked.

Jeff's hand hesitated over the tub of tainted dip; Fernando's prime target had left the building.

"What's Logan done _now?"_ someone asked.

"They think he killed some Mexican kid."

"What, _another_ one?"

"Nah, just that one from last spring."

"OMIGOD!" the pretty brunette cried. "That was like, before I even came to school here!"

"This is so bogus!" another 09er cried. "They could have waited 'till morning!"

"Yeah," a large, stupid looking blond kid said, "It's not like that Mexican's gonna be any less dead tomorrow."

 _His name was Felix and he had friends._ Jeff thought, as he set his jaw and grabbed the dip. The scared kid on the elevator seemed to be the least callous Neptune Pirate regarding the murder of Felix Toombs. At home, Jeff's little sisters had shown more concern for the death of a rabbit than this whole bunch had for their classmate. He opened the tub and dumped it into the bowl on the table, feeling a small sense of satisfaction as hands immediately began to grab chips and thrust them into the creamy booby trap.

He caught sight of Duncan Kane in the corner, his arm around Veronica Mars. They were deep in conversation.

 _Your Dad loses his job to that idiot, Don Lamb and you're partying with these trolls? Probably planning your wedding. Enjoy the dip._

He kept his poker face firmly in place as he wheeled the trolley out of the suite.

* * *

His phone woke him early.

"Jeff, it's Frank. Can you come in for a couple of hours this morning? Housekeeping is short handed and we've got a major mess in Duncan Kane's suite. Thanks. See you in an hour."

"Uugggh." Jeff groaned, dropping his phone. He'd forgotten that he'd told the Grand that he had a free period first thing Wednesday mornings.

 _I should have left it alone,_ he thought. _'Vengeance is Mine, sayeth the Lord." And Karma really is a bitch._

* * *

"Hey, I heard there was some excitement at the Grand last night!" Gabi addressed her brother as she tossed her backpack onto the kitchen floor. "You were there; did you see anything?"

"NO." Jeff grimaced. He was sitting at the table with Lucy. They'd been discussing the pros and cons of a new rabbit vs. a new guinea pig. "I saw more than enough this morning. Yuck."

"What?" Gabi frowned. "I'm not talking about some stupid party: Logan Echolls got hauled off in handcuffs! Again!"

"Oh, that." Cleaning up the battle field this morning had driven out all memory of his original intent from Jeff's mind. "Yeah, actually I saw it."

"I heard he put up such a fight that it took four deputies to drag him out!" Gabi said breathlessly as she dropped onto the bench beside her sister. "Is it true?"

"Isn't that double indemnity?" Danni asked, coming into the kitchen. "They arrested him a long time ago for that."

"Double indemnity would be trying someone twice for a crime they've been acquitted of." Jeff shook his head. "Echolls was only arrested last spring, it never went to trial."

"I heard he told the cops his lawyers would make mincemeat out of all of them and make sure none of them ever wore badges again. I heard he asked them if one dead Mexican was worth ending their careers." Gabi said, luridly.

"No." Jeff shook his head. Nothing he'd actually seen supported such a tale and the details he'd gotten from several sources in the morning were of a completely different shade. "He went without a fuss. He acted like it was no big deal."

"Maybe getting taken away in cuffs isn't a big deal to him anymore." Danni suggested.

"No, it was a big deal." Jeff corrected her, remembering the look on Echolls' face as the elevator doors closed.

"So, did he say anything?" Gabi asked.

"He said he wanted to be the cream filling in an Olsen twin sandwich." Jeff replied.

The three girls stared at him.

"I don't get it." Lucy said.

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4 Room Mates

TLP Chapter 4

Two days after the election, Jeff arrived home after an early shift at the Grand to find his Dad enjoying a beer on the back patio with his oldest friend, Judge David T. Blum. Jeff had inherited his love of justice and righteousness from his father but the credit for his interest in how the the legal system worked towards those ends in the real world could be laid at the feet of the Judge, who had been a fixture in Jeff's life for as long as he could remember. The two men had been friends since junior high.

"…I wasn't going to set any bail at all," the Judge was saying as Jeff came into earshot, "there's a valid argument for flight risk, after all. But when I heard that Lamb had thrown him into a cell with his _father!_ My God, what a thing to do!"

"That was either stupidly thoughtless or malicious." Ron shook his head.

"If it weren't for malice there'd be no depth to Don Lamb at all." Ruedy said. "Keith Mars was a good sheriff. Too bad the folks in Neptune only know what they read in the headlines. Half of them wouldn't see the problem with placing the two Echolls in a cell together. They'd just think: father and son, both accused murderers, why not?"

"Evening, your honor!" Jeff said, "I thought Aaron Echolls was in prison before his trial. He's here in town?"

"Sssh." The Judge put a finger to his lips. "It was kept quiet to avoid paparazzi and fans. He was only here for about 15 hours while some paperwork was adjusted but Lamb couldn't resist tossing the boy in with his Dad. What a schmuck."

"What am I missing?" Jeff asked, looking between the two men. "What's wrong with that?"

"The boy is on the witness list for his father's trial." Ruedy said quietly. "For the _prosecution."_

 _"_ Oh shit." Jeff's eyebrows flew up.

"Exactly." The Judge nodded as Ron said "watch your language."

"Lamb gave Echolls an opportunity to tamper with a witness!" Jeff ignored his Dad's admonition. "What a moron!"

"That would be the kinder explanation." Ron said. "Malice is more sinister."

"Well, I wasn't about to let stupidity or malice destroy the case." Ruedy said. "Anyway, I got the kid out of there before, we must hope, any damage was done. He's not going anywhere: we put a cuff on him."

"A cuff?" Ron asked.

"An electronic monitor, like a leash." Jeff said, as the Judge nodded. "So is he under house arrest?"

"Not quite." The Judge said. "He has to be able to go to school, after all. His monitor won't set off any alarms unless he gets more than five miles from the court house. That radius encompasses his home, school and most of the places he'd go in a normal day."

"We won't be seeing him in our neighborhood any time soon." Ron said. Living ten miles from the coast, the Ratners were a good eight or nine miles from the Balboa County court house.

"Like Logan Echolls would ever stray this far from the 09." Jeff scoffed. "He'd get the bends."

* * *

Logan Echolls may never have set foot on the grounds of Pan High but he was all anyone was talking about in school the next day.

"Did you hear what happened?" Wilson asked excitedly at lunch. "The Echolls' house burned to the ground last night! Burned right to the foundation: nothing left standing. Nothing!"

"Was anyone there?" Jeff asked, knowing Logan was supposed to have gone home. "Was anyone hurt?"

"I don't think so." Denis said. "The report I heard this morning didn't mention any victims. Besides, no one was there. The staff probably took some time off since Logan is in jail."

"Yeah." Jeff was not in the habit of sharing any inside information he learned from his sources inside the court house. "You sure no one was home?"

"Pretty sure if someone else connected to the Echolls family was dead, it would've made the news." Wilson pointed out. "it always does!"

"Yeah, you'd think, wouldn't you?" Jeff could only hope that the fire had happened before the Judge had released Logan from lock up.

Never being terribly interested in Neptune's celebrity class, Jeff didn't give the fire or the fortunes of the Echolls family another thought until he was at work that night. Then, a conversation between some of the house keeping staff caught his attention.

"I think the best thing to do is to assign that whole floor to some of the more senior staff." Ms. Stanton, the head of housekeeping said to Kathy, one of her assistants. "It just makes sense to detour any possible trouble that could pop up before it happens."

"And by 'senior', you mean; _senior_." Kathy nodded.

"I do." Stanton agreed. "No one under 40 on eleven. Preferably 50 if we have the numbers."

"Could we get in trouble for that?" Kathy asked. "Ageism or something?"

"That's why I'm _telling_ you instead of putting it in a memo." Stanton said. "I have no intention of wading into the weeds of whether or not protecting a pair of emancipated minors outweighs the crime of assigning floors based on age and…" she lowered her voice to a whisper "…attractiveness. If rumors I've heard about the Echolls boy are true…well, I don't want any cougars roaming my hotel. Got it?"

"Got it." Kathy said. "I'll make up the scheds myself."

Jeff waited until Stanton had left the pantry before he entered. "Hey, Kath." He greeted the older woman. "I didn't mean to eaves drop but I…um…"

"You heard nothing." Kathy said firmly.

"No, of course not!" Jeff agreed. "Is Logan Echolls moving in?"

"Shhh." Kathy checked the hall to make sure no other passing employees were accidentally eavesdropping. She pulled Jeff into the pantry. "He moved in with Duncan Kane last night. His house burned down!"

"I heard. So he's here." Jeff nodded. It made sense. Where else would a newly homeless high school senior with money at his disposal, electronically tethered to within five miles of the court house go?

"Yeah. And if we want to keep up the tone of the place and not let it deteriorate to the level of the Hollywood Hotel, with reporters and groupies running rampant, we're to keep it mum for as long as possible."

"That isn't going to be easy."

"No." Kathy grimaced. "We may not be able to keep out all the paparazzi and fangirls but we can do as much as possible to provide a scandal free environment."

"Could you really get in trouble if the staff found out?" Jeff asked.

"Stanton is covering everyone's butt, if that's what you mean but I'm not worried. We've been mandated by a higher authority than hotel policy." Kathy smiled grimly.

"The court?" Jeff wondered just how tight a leash Judge Blum had put on Logan Echolls.

"The court? No." Kathy snorted. Then she leaned in and whispered " _Jake Kane!"_

* * *

"Jeff." A tiny voice hissed in the dark outside his bedroom. Jeff glanced at his clock. He had gotten home from work ten minutes earlier.

"Luce, what are you doing awake at 12: 25 in the morning?" He demanded as his little sister scurried into his room. She was holding a birdcage.

"Can Buddy Holly sleep in here with you tonight?" She asked, indicating the pale blue budgie in the cage. "Bubs won't let him sleep."

"He won't?" Jeff looked at the little bird, who fluttered about, agitated.

"No. I guess cats and birds can't really be roommates." Lucy looked sad but resigned to facts of nature.

"I don't want your stupid bird in my room!" Jeff protested.

"Just for tonight?" Lucy turned her Bambi eyes on him. "I tried to stick Bubs out in the hall but he cried. Really loud."

"No." Jeff was adamant. "These are your animals Miss Lucy; your responsibility."

Lucy carefully placed Buddy Holly's cage on Jeff's desk, then turned back toward her brother, her brown eyes huge and hands clasped in prayer. _"Please?"_

"oh crap." Jeff sighed. "Fine. Just for tonight, though, okay?"

"Thanks Jeffie! I'll think of something, I promise but right now I'm just tired and I hafta go to sleep." Lucy danced toward the door. "I love you!"

"Get to bed." Jeff ordered. He looked at the tiny bird. "you better not wake me up too early."

* * *

Jeff wasn't surprised to be asked to help out on the eleventh floor the following week. He was helping Trudy, a vigorous little woman of indeterminate age, to change out the linens of the suites. Trudy sent him into the Presidential Suite with a cart load of towels.

No one answered his knock, so he let himself in with the passkey. He was a few feet from the master bedroom when he heard a bump and a laugh from the other side of the door. Spinning on his heels, he decided to place the clean napkins and towels in the bar and then get out before whoever was in the bedroom caught him. He knelt to empty the cupboard below the sink.

The door to the bedroom banged open. Jeff did not look up but stuck to his task, telling himself that's what a professional would do under the circumstances.

"Oh crap. Does he _always_ have to be here?" a girl's voice asked.

Jeff looked up from his task in alarm. Veronica Mars, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and combat boots, had paused in her march across the living room. For a split second, Jeff thought her complaint had been aimed at him.

"You took the words right out of my mouth." A mildly amused voice came from the foyer. Logan Echolls had arrived home.

"He does live here, now." Duncan Kane said, following Veronica from the bedroom.

"I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" Echolls asked, looking back and forth between Duncan and Veronica. "I can come back in…what, three minutes?"

"Very funny." Duncan said. "Don't forget to tip your waiter."

"I _will_ be here all week." Echolls said. "I expected a more enthusiastic homecoming: I brought us dinner." He dropped some take out bags from a nearby Thai place on the coffee table. "You look hungry."

"Logan." Duncan said, a warning in his voice, "cut it out."

"What? I'm hungry!" Echolls said, innocently.

"Well, I've just lost my appetite." Veronica said pettishly, grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

"Hey, c'mon, Baby, don't be like that." Duncan said, following her. "You love Thai food!"

"Not tonight, I don't." she wrenched open the door.

"Drive carefully!" Echolls called after her retreating form. "Say 'hi' to your Dad!"

The door slammed behind her and Duncan dropped to the couch beside Echolls and they began removing food from the bags.

Jeff stood there like an idiot watching the two of them begin their dinner. He looked at the front door, where Veronica had exited so dramatically. He looked back at the two young men eating on the couch.

"So." He announced. "I've restocked the bar towels." Duncan startled violently, confirming Jeff's suspicion that the young billionaire hadn't noticed him standing there by the bar. "Would you like me to put some clean towels in the bathrooms?"

"I could definitely use some more towels, if you don't mind." Echolls said, conversationally. "I hate using a damp one."

"Right." Jeff turned and pushed his cart toward the guest bath.

"Where the heck did he come from?" Duncan hissed.

"What? He was standing at the bar when I got here." Echolls said, his mouth full of noodles.

"He _was_?" Duncan asked. "How come I didn't see him?"

"Dude. If I paid as little attention to my surroundings as you do, I'd be dead by now." Echolls said.

"Yeah, well, half the town isn't trying to kill me," Duncan said, "So I haven't had to develop my spidey senses the way you have."

"With great power comes great responsibility." Echolls said. "Or so, I've heard."

* * *

Later that night, Jeff was happy to see that his temporary roommate was gone. Buddy Holly's cage was no longer in his bedroom. Lucy must have thought up a way to keep Bubs from bothering the budgie.

"Roommates are more trouble than they're worth." He muttered as he turned off the light.


	5. Chapter 5 Opportunity Knocks

TLP Chapter 5

Jeff took advantage of his rare days off to keep up with his favorite hobby: haunting the court house for news, rumors and whispers to supplement the information found in public records. It fascinated him to put some muscle and tissue to the bare bones of the information in the police reports. The deputies wouldn't talk to him but a surprising amount of information could be gotten out of the secretaries, janitors and even the regular petty criminals who were there, waiting to be processed. Since he'd gotten his own car, he'd become such a fixture that those who worked there didn't even notice him. He found he could glean the most info simply by hanging in the background, listening.

Like the rest of the kids at Pan High, he had the obligatory disdain for all things Neptune Pirate related. His was based less on social envy than moral indignation. Not a week went by when some 09er kids wasn't brought in on failure to pay traffic tickets, wanton destruction of public property, underage drinking, possession of banned substances or any other of a myriad offenses indicative of a mind set of being above the law. Jeff's naturally priggish bent was outraged and disgusted.

Lately, the stories were much more interesting than mere cases of affluenza. The murder of Felix Toombs and the bus crash had raised the level of depravity and the stakes of justice, considerably. A now familiar name practically leaped off the police report that Jeff was reading. Apparently, the body of a middle aged man, which had washed ashore just north of town in mid- September, had bourn the name 'Veronica Mars' on the palm of his left hand. The report said the name was block letters, in black marker.

"like he didn't have any paper but needed to remember it." Jeff muttered to himself. "What the hell is that girl into?"

There was a note further down the page that Ms. Mars had been brought in for questioning. That was all; no further information had been taken.

Death, drugs, destruction, dead beats and deserters.

No, Jeff wasn't remotely envious of the kids at Neptune High.

But life certainly was more exciting the closer one lived to the beach.

* * *

Mrs. Skilling held up a five pound bag of flour.

"This is your baby." She announced to the health class. "Babies are the result of sexual contact between a male and a female. You may think you're being 'safe' but accidents happen. This project is to give you all a vague, misty idea of just how large a responsibility a baby is. You will partner up, boys and girls and each pair will be responsible for a bag of flour for a week. You will keep a journal of how you take care of your 'babies', feeding schedules, sleep accommodations, etc. You are responsible for your 'baby' 24 hours a day, in and out of school. At the end of the week, your baby had better not have any rips, tears or patches. Not if you want to pass this section. Partner up."

"Would it be forward of me if I said I wanted to have your kid?" Janice asked Jeff. He laughed. They had been friends since sophomore year, when they'd been assigned lab partners in biology class.

"I don't know," He said, "This is probably as close as I'll ever get to a date with Brooke, don't you think I should go for it?"

Janice looked across the room to where Brooke Reilly, a very pretty red head, was already surrounded by three of her classmates, vying for the honor of fake fathering her bag of flour.

"Too late." Janice sighed. "She's already knocked up. Guess you'll have to settle for me."

"Well, at least our baby will be smart, with a great personality."

"Wow." Janice said. "Why not just come out with it and call me ugly?"

"What?" Jeff looked at her. Janice was tall, plain and gangly but he'd never considered her ugly. "Who says you're ugly?"

"Never mind." Her eyes rolled behind her glasses. "Let's grab a bag."

They spent the rest of the class period making up a schedule as to who would be in charge of the 'baby', when and where. Jeff's work schedule was such that nearly all the time he wasn't at work, he'd have to have the bag to balance the work load. He would drop the bag of flour off at Janice's house on his way to work.

"I mean, if I absolutely had to, I could take it to work with me," he conceded "But it would be really tough to do my job while hauling it around and the chances that it wouldn't get torn are..."

"There's nowhere safe where you could just shove it until your shift is done?" Janice asked, her voice low, so as not to be overheard. "It's not like Skilling would ever know."

"That would be cheating!"

"Well, yeah! Oh. Right." Janice agreed. "You keep her during the school day and I'll take her while you're at work." She suggested he come by early enough for dinner.

* * *

That evening, when Janice answered Jeff's knock, the first thought that entered his head was that Janice was definitely not ugly. He'd never thought about it before but Janice was actually quite pretty. It never crossed his mind that she may have made an effort.

"Come on in!" she smiled. "I've got meat loaf. Do you like that? Good. Come on in the kitchen. Bring Baggie or Goldie or whatever. We need to name her."

Janice's parents were out for the evening, so she grabbed some plates and set them on the kitchen table.

"It's kind of weird," Janice said, helping herself to some salad, "picking out baby names when we've never…you know. Had sex."

"Um. I think the whole thing is supposed to discourage us from that." Jeff said.

"I heard that at Neptune High they actually got these baby-bots with internal computers to track their every move." Janice told him.

"That figures. Heaven forbid a bunch of 09ers should wander around school with anything as bourgeois as a bag of flour."

"I think they need a more realistic baby experience. From what I've heard, their parties are pretty much orgies." Janice's voice dropped as she got into the salacious details. "A couple of years ago, some girl just parked herself in a guest bedroom and did it with _everybody._ "

"What do you know about 09er parties?" Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"My sources are impeccable." Janice told him, shrugging a shoulder. "You know my best friend goes there." Her voice dropped again, as though someone might be listening. " She told me the 09er girls start early. Like, in _seventh grade,_ early."

"Your best friend is an 09er?"

"No, but she goes to Neptune. Mandy tells me whatever the gossip is and its always pretty gross."

"Most gossip probably isn't true." Even as he said the words, Jeff thought of all the evidence confirming the worst gossip about one particular student at Neptune high. "But I wouldn't want any of my sisters dating an 09er."

"Hey!" Janice leaned toward him. "Duncan Kane lives at the Grand, doesn't he? I'll bet you've seen a lot."

"No orgies, but…um…yeah." For the next twenty minutes, Janice encouraged him to talk about everything he'd seen since Duncan moved into the Grand. Having a girl to whom he was not related hang on his every word was a new experience for Jeff. It was nice, even if it was just Janice. He'd never noticed before how shiny her hair was. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

He was almost late for his shift.

* * *

He was behind the front counter, looking over his assignment sheet when Kendall Casablancas slithered up to the front desk.

"Where's the valet?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry! They must all be-" Jeff started but she cut him off.

"Just make sure that's put in a safe place!" she dropped a fob on the counter and turned on her stilettos. She hadn't reached the elevator bank when a valet trotted in. He picked up the fob, glanced at the sleek Maserati blocking the front door and grinned.

"I love this job!" he said.

Since Big Dick had flown the country to avoid the feds, everyone at the Grand had discovered the identity of Logan Echolls' cougar. Photos of the trophy wife Casablancas had left behind to face the music had been all over the news. Not a word had been spoken or printed about her side interests, which was fortunate. The Grand didn't appreciate the sort of publicity that would accompany public knowledge that the fugitive's wife was having an affair with a high schooler under house arrest for murder, living on the top floor. Jeff suspected that was exactly the kind of publicity from which Jake Kane was trying to shield his son.

Ever since Logan Echolls had moved in with Duncan Kane, Jeff had been assigned to help housekeeping and catering on the eleventh floor. No official policy of keeping attractive girls off the floor was ever spoken aloud but everyone accepted that to flout the policy was to flirt with the wrath of Kane.

That's why Jeff was at the supply closet on 11 when Logan and Trina Echolls got off the elevator. They didn't notice him as they went into the Suite together.

"Rode hard, meet Put Away Wet." Jeff had to smother a laugh as he heard Logan's rude introduction through the door, which had not quite closed. A minute later, Trina swept back out of the suite and down the hall to the elevator.

"Joke's on her," Jeff heard Logan say. "She came here to borrow my video camera. She does love an exit."

As he was loading his cart onto the service elevator, Jeff saw Kendall Casablancas exit the suite and head toward the guest elevator. Jeff frowned.

The hotel could only do so much to protect the privacy of Duncan Kane. Jeff didn't know what they could do about the people those young men invited upstairs.

That thought was reinforced when Veronica Mars marched through the lobby an hour or so later, hauling a pink clad baby bot up to the Presidential Suite.

* * *

Tuesday, Jeff joined his friends at lunch carrying his bag of flour. He carefully placed it atop his books on an empty chair.

"Sex ed?" Alfredo asked. "I had that last year: we used eggs."

"Eggs?" Jeff grinned. "It's hard enough trying to keep a bag of flour intact, how'd it go with eggs?"

"Skilling said the human race was doomed. Over half the eggs were scrambled before Friday. Who you partnered with?"

"Janice Everling." Jeff said. Wilson, Fredo and Dennis immediately scanned the lunchroom for her.

"She's hot." Dennis said, spying Janice at a table with her friends.

"You think she's hot?" Jeff was surprised.

"I like 'em tall and leggy." Dennis explained.

"She's smart and funny, too." Jeff said.

"She's not a nine or anything," Wilson said, thoughtfully. "But she's a solid 7, which is right in our ballpark."

"You think 7 is _our_ ballpark?" Jeff asked. His friends all looked at each other in silent communication, then nodded.

"Yeah. Sixes and sevens. Why not?" Dennis asked.

"What about Betty?" Jeff couldn't resist asking Wilson.

"Betty was a ten." Wilson blushed. "But I'm not stupid enough to think I was in her league."

"A ten?" Jeff scoffed.

"Uh…yeah." Fredo sided with Wilson. "A smokin' hot blond who shows up just long enough to break Wils' cherry, then disappears, never to be seen again? That's a ten no matter what she looked like. And she _was_ hot."

"Oh, you saw her?" Jeff asked.

"We all saw her." Dennis said. "You're the only one who didn't."

"I've seen her." Jeff said, dismissively. He was clearly more interested in what was in his lunch bag than discussing Wilson's one score.

"And what?" Wilson asked, "She's not your style? You don't like gorgeous women?"

"I don't like—"Jeff caught himself before he said 'skanks', "—opportunists."

"what does _that_ mean?" Fredo asked.

"It means any young lady who would bone Wilson has something seriously wrong with her." Jeff pointed out.

"Yeah, that's definitely true." Dennis and Fredo nodded.

"Hey!" Wilson blushed again.

"Janice has really pretty hair." Jeff admitted.

"Yeah. I'll bet she smells good, too." Wilson said.

"She does smell good." Jeff said.

* * *

Janice's parents were home when Jeff arrived to drop off the 'baby' that evening. They invited him to stay for dinner and he was more than happy to stick around for a bit, since they were having pot roast. In Jeff's experience, parents were always easier to impress than their daughters. He hit it off with Janice's folks. Janice walked him to the front door when it was time to leave.

"Oh my God," she whispered at the door. "I'm sorry! They're so lame.'

"what? Your parents are nice." He said.

"You're nice." Janice smiled, touching his arm. "I promise; they won't be here tomorrow. Let's get a pizza!"

"Okay! It's a…date?" Jeff stammered. His arm buzzed where she touched it.

"A date? " Janice laughed. "The _least_ I can do is give you dinner before you go off to provide for our little bag of gluten!"

Jeff went off to the grand feeling giddy.

* * *

The next day, Alfredo arrived at their lunch table filled with news.

"Weevil Navarro was taped, naked to the flag pole at Neptune High this week!" He announced to his friends.

"What?!" every kid in Neptune knew that Weevil was the baddest bad ass in town; leader of the Pacific Coast Highway gang.

"Well, that sucks for him." Jeff said, unsympathetically, " but considering who he pals around with, he probably got off lucky."

"Yeah," Alfredo nodded. "I heard the PCH is dealing."

"That would be risky." Jeff said, frowning. You couldn't read the Balboa County court blotter for a week without coming across the name 'Fitzpatrick'. "The Fitzpatrick's control the turf."

"The who?" Wilson asked.

"Irish mob." Jeff said shortly.

"Weevil or his guys must've come up short last week." Fredo said.

"No way." Jeff shook his head. "More likely Weevil parked his bike in Liam's spot. He wouldn't tape a guy to the pole for coming up short: he'd impale him on it."

"Impale?" Wilson squeaked. "you mean like...Dracula?"

"The Impaler himself!" Jeff grinned. "I'd rather go three rounds with old Vlad than have Liam Fitzpatrick after me."

"Jesus." Wilson looked pale.

"Wasn't Weevil behind that prank last year where a teacher's car was, like, impaled on that flagpole?" Dennis asked.

"yeah, that's right!" Wilson said. "He and some other kid sliced the car in half and put it back together around the pole."

"Seems like Weevil's got a real fixation on that flagpole." Jeff said with a smirk.

"It wasn't just 'some other kid'," Alfredo said. "It was _Logan Echolls_. That's the only reason Weevil wasn't expelled: they'd have had to kick out Echolls too. Like that was ever gonna happen at Neptune High."

"Man, I hate that place." Wilson shook his head.

"I'll bet they're regretting that decision." Jeff remarked. "Just think of the trouble they could have avoided over there if they'd tossed both their asses a year ago!"

"Yeah!" Dennis chortled. "Its amazing how much things can change in a year, isn't it?"

"Probably never happened." Jeff, always the skeptic, said. "I mean, it's pretty hard to imagine Weevil Navarro and Logan Echolls teaming up, much less on something so elaborate."

"You know, I met him once." Wilson said.

"You've met Logan Echolls?" Dennis asked.

"Uh, yeah; I hang out with the rich and famous." Wilson said sarcastically. "Dork. Weevil. I met Weevil."

"You never met Weevil!" Fredo protested.

"At rest stop 15." Wilson said.

"Oh. Yeah." Fredo said. "He practically runs the place."

"He's one spooky dude." Wilson said.

* * *

That night, true to her word, Janice greeted him and their well tended bag of flour with a piping hot, large sausage and green pepper pizza from Dominos. They had a wonderful time, eating, talking and laughing. She made him a little uncomfortable when she kept returning to the sexual exploits of the kids at Neptune High but he pretended he was cool with it. He really liked hanging out with her.

He realized the feeling was mutual the next night, when she met him at the door with a kiss. His mind went completely blank when she said "Hurry; my parents will be home in an hour" , took him by the hand and lead him to her bedroom.

The next fifteen minutes were the most wonderful blur he'd ever experienced.

He was on cloud nine all through his shift that night.

He felt strong, witty, sexy, clever, confident and smart because of a girl who was kind, thoughtful, generous, intelligent and pretty.

The world was a beautiful place and he was in love with Janice.

Lucy's cat even purred at him when he got home that night.

To be continued...


End file.
